Why to be loyal with wife / husband ?

All the major religions on the globe want the wife and husband to be loyal towards each other and condemn all sorts of extra material sexual relationships unanimously and the Hinduism does more so. Here, I am not going to comment on the ‘sin’ of ‘it’ but, I will describe how you fail to grow or ‘evolve’ or how you are spoiling yourself, your ‘inner growth’, your evolution due to illicit sexual relationships. 

For any occurrences there will be many outcomes and for this too there will be many bad consequences, but I am focusing on the ‘inner’ deterioration due to the extramarital relationships. The Hindu religion includes ‘extra-marital’ relationship under ‘maha patak’, the ‘great sins’ and there should be serious reasons for it otherwise the sastras [scriptures] will not warn so seriously on the matter.

Before telling the wife and husband not to cheat it is required to state the significance of the marriage. The Hinduism says marriage is a sacrament to fulfill some higher motive but, just it is not an agreement between a man and a woman for sensual enjoyment and to satiate the animal instincts.

A man and woman are united by a ceremony of marriage – just not to lead a secure societal life but, much more is involved with the marriage. Just it is not a physical bonding to satiate the physical needs of the two human animals but, much higher things, sublime things are involved with the marriage. If only the physical urges are to be fulfilled as many think in the modern age then marriage is not in need.

The marriage is primarily meant for the inner growth through controlled transformation of the sexual energies present deep within the individuals.

According to Charles Darwin, the life forms ‘evolve’ from one species to the other species during the course of their struggle for survival. The Hinduism is not denying this concept of this ‘evolutionist’ but, it says much more than Darwin. Darwin just said that ‘life forms’ are evolving, but Hinduism says – ‘you’ are evolving too, the ‘you’ represents the ‘soul’ in you. The Hinduism says – it is only you have been evolving through countless birth and deaths – passing through all these different ‘forms of life’, these different creatures.

Darwin’s point is that the struggle is for ‘survival’ but, the Hinduism says - the struggle [of all the beings] is for ‘evolution’ but, of course all the creatures are not aware that they are struggling for ‘evolution’. Does a kid, rising and falling to walk - know it is struggling to grow, to ‘evolve’? We people think we are struggling for ‘survival’ but, the fact according to Hinduism - is that we are all struggling to ‘evolve’ – but, we might not know it. The struggle we [all beings] do for ‘survival’ is in fact for the ‘evolution’, the ‘inner growth’.

Now, you are in the ‘human form’ and no more physical ‘evolution’ is there but you grow within. Once, the ‘soul’ has taken the human form – there is no more physical evolution but, the ‘inner’ evolution begins now. This ‘human life’ is not an end in itself. Speaking in the words of Charles Darwin - we have struggled a lot to get to this ‘human form’ in the evolution – but, this is not the end of the journey. Now, on wards we have to ‘grow within’ unlike the evolution we had in the past, the physical evolution.

In the ‘Bhagavad Geetha’ – lord Krishna says – uddare naatma naathmaanaam. It means ‘you’ have to grow on yourself, you have to grow within. This is exactly where the marriage comes into play. The animals need no marriage in order to ‘evolve’ because their evolution is just ‘physical’ but, ‘we’ need to evolve internally so, naturally we need so many rules and regulations in order to evolve. The ‘marriage’ is the easiest system that helps a ‘man’ or ‘woman’ to evolve ‘within’ or the marriage is the easiest spiritual practice possible the religions have devised so far.

We have some drawbacks and the sages of Hinduism devised some ‘intelligent’ methods for the ‘inner growth’ just by using our ‘drawbacks’ or ‘weaknesses’. This is like the intelligent use of the winds for sailing on the seas. The ‘sexual need’ is one such draw back and we can exploit it for our ‘inner growth’ – according to the Hindu Scriptures.

Suppose a ‘boy’ and a ‘girl’ - are married. Then if they are loyal to each other – the boy thinks of his ‘girl’ and the ‘girl’ thinks of her ‘boy’ while away from each other – of course – this attraction might be ascribed to the ‘sexual need’. This way, when both of them continue thinking and longing for each other – they will start to do simple sacrifices for each other and now the ‘sexual urge’ in them will slowly transforms or it slowly sublimates into the higher form, LOVE. If they live like this – they go reach a stage where they can do sacrifices for each other and even they could ‘feel’ can ‘die’ for each other. At this point they don’t care for themselves – in loving their beloved – the bodies becomes secondary and they are coming out of their bodies i. e., their personality grows out of the body – to embrace something else too. Both of them are growing ‘within’ or in the words of Darwin – they both are ‘evolving’.

The starting point for ‘love’ is through ‘sex’ and it starts easily when you are ‘loyal’ to your spouse. But, it is difficult to ‘ignite’ love in the other ways. Once, the ‘love’ starts it grows without end and later it becomes universal in nature, loving one all.

‘you’ will start by loving your ‘wife’ or ‘husband’ and it ends at loving the feet of ‘god’. So, in order to make the ‘love’ possible and grow, in other word for you to ‘evolve’ – you should be loyal to your wife/husband. If you cheat your ‘wife’ or ‘husband’ – your might feel happy at the present – but, just you are cheating yourself by ‘harming your evolution’.

The other point is that – we have some ‘inner energies’ within ourselves. If ‘you’ touch another person your ‘inner energies’ are disturbed, if you are sensitive you could feel this. This is the reason – many of the Hindu spiritualists dislike to touch or to be touched by others. If you are rash you might not feel this ‘inner disturbance’ when others touch, but, if you are sensitive enough ‘you’ will feel the ‘pain’ at the touch of others. Here, it is needless to say that – the sex will disturb your inner energies to a great degree. If ‘you’ are with ONLY your spouse then this ‘inner disturbance’ will help both of you – to grow, to evolve for these ‘inner energies’ will come to a harmony.

But, if you keep on kissing or mating with different people ‘your’ inner energies will get polluted and you will come down the ladder of ‘evolution’. You will turn rash and rocky – and you will lose your peace too. This ‘you’ could observe in prostitutes, most of them are rash.

Apart from ‘reversing’ your evolution on your own due to your ‘extramarital’ sex – you will become ‘sinner’ as all the religions are warning and this will make you to suffer later. This is because - when you are polluting your ‘inner energies’ you will fall down from this ‘human’ level and so will take some inferior birth and as described by Darwin ‘you’ will have to struggle to ‘evolve’ for this you have to struggle again and naturally ‘struggling’ is a punishment for anyone. But, the religions will simply say this as ‘sin’ effect.

So, if you are cheating your spouse – you are cheating yourself and going back on ‘involution’ - to suffer later. The Hinduism warns, those a leading ‘illicit’ life will go back to be born as ‘animals’ later and it is very difficult to take the human birth again. Of course, it is difficult to be loyal especially these days but, it is worth it. Good things are hard to practice but, the results are very sweet indeed.

Stressing again these are not the only reasons, there will be many more reasons unknown to me. Without some severe reasons, the scriptures will not condemn it, stamping as ‘maha parak’ or the ‘grate sin’. If I fail to understand the reasons – will it become wrong?

Choose your ‘evolution’ but not your ‘involution’. Good luck !

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Unknown said...

it is tantric way to keep energies pure and through alchemy High Love and respect, balance the inner energies of both.. only with the One Beloved. Together they evolve ...

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Srinivasa Rao Gonuguntla said...

Really enlightening article 🙏